Helen’s Blog

8:44 AM 12/10/2007

I’m blogging this on notepad currently. I’m so frustrated still with life itself, and I don’t know what to do about it. I feel so emotionally insecure, and all over the place. I just don’t know what to do.

I’m on the phone with him as always, with nothing to say. I just hope he doesn’t drink today.

I can’t fully explain the worries and frustrations I truly have, and it bothers me. There are somethings in life where I’d like to just keep to myself. I’d like to get back into art, but if the project doesn’t come out the way I want it to, then that will disappoint me even more. Almost everything is disappointing, life in general just is.

When the world spins in circles
and the trees lose their leaves
that’s the time when love arises
from the deep dark skies

I try and hold
my head up high
no light to guide me
nothing but my heart to keep me warm.

Golden leaves red and brown
Fall to the ground
As my love for you grows strong
and death comes to all
except us

When the world spins in circles
and the snow falls down
that’s the time when my love arises
to bring you back into my arms

You keep me warm with your love
as the snow burries the ground
within itself
I see myself
In a reflection, in your icy mirror

winter wonderland
chilling to the bones
I stand with you, forever
Through the storming skies

When the world spins in circles
and life is once again renewed
my love for you blossoms
like the flowers from the soil
the soil with the leaves

The leaves that blew to the ground
and now grow once more
vibrance, color, and intensity
love is once again renewed

Fragrance of life is in the air
seeds grow strong
and endure long
nights that winter has given

When the world spins in circles
and the sun is shining through
exposing the love I have for you
again time and time again

Time grows longer and
I remeet your vibrant soul
alive in the middle of summer
as the trees grow all their leaves
once again

I embrace your love and
give it also
falling in love with you
once again

When the world spins in circles
and the trees lose their leaves,
We’ve come full circle
and once again the night grows long

and memories become reality
once more
as the world spins in circles
so does my love for you

as it grows stronger

still with each passing moment
I will forever love you
back to when the trees lose their leaves.

9:30 pm, January 19, 2007

Lonliness strikes at me and I search for comfort, a true face behind all these empty reflections. My eyes reflect eyes, but with no soul behind them. My Mind is trapped beneath the glass, I cannot reach without shattering.  I lose myself and hide my heart in the mist.

An expression of forfeit thins the once-thick dark Rivers, and my White is even more empty than it was before. No longer suffocating, but no longer breathing. She feels submissive, but White has nothing to dominate with. We are the shadows beneath a rose, a loose thought.. to match with a loose grip.  A quiet voice can open my eyes.

Looking back to early days, losing to the mist,

I see that day has gone, no overtaken (she insists)

I long for the winter to end, for night to transform into day,

But as time passes, we drift Unknown;

THere are no more words to say.

I see the Nature inside of me; the rivers, mountains and snow.

As the spirit grows cold with ice, how will I survive myself?

I do not even know.

Stop, the of winter; a storm.