Helen’s Blog

I feel like I’m being dragged along some rollercoaster ride with emotions today.  I feel tossed around with my head and heart.  I don’t feel like myself at all, and these emotions feel fake, medicine induced.  I look and see what is not there, I hear what cannot be.  My happiness fades in and out. I see who I used to be.  I used to be different, act different, hold myself differently. I don’t know what has changed, it seems depression took the whole of me. I feel so empty inside, except for one person and that is Fall; he is all I have, and all I need.  The past is still bothering me; we are still coming full circle.  Memories reveal themselves in subtle ways, reminding me.

I am very content with Fall, even if we fight once in a while. I look forward to talking to him each day: just to hear his voice is heaven for me.  He’s done so much good for me, it’s quite incredible. Depression would take me completely if it weren’t for him and his love for me. I keep mentioning him in my blogs, I can’t help it.  he’s a very large part of my life, my most important part.